Hey y'all! Long time no post!
And I probably won't post in a while considering the fact that I'm being hammered in college...
So I post something that will take longer to read and hopefully less time to bore...
Inspired by a toon on homestarrunner.com!
My Bottom 10.
I think this is just great. Everybody's always doing the TOP 10 thing, climbing charts, talking about what they love and all that. Which is why an occasional cynic such as myself jumps at the occasion of doing a bottom 10 of the unimportant things that are nevertheless INCREDIBLY ANNOYING to my person!
Some entries might be more logical or permanent than others, but accurate nonetheless.
Just as a Top 10 never suffices, there are far too many irritating things on this planet to fit....so 11's, 12 and 13's might appear as appendices on this blog in the future. Blasphemy!
This post was a time in the making, so I apologise for any chronological inaccuracies and possible profanity. Hey, it comes with the territory.
10: Fake cats hanging from balconies.
this is just awful, scary; If you're such a darn cat lover, why do you wanna see then hanging on for dear life from your seventh floor balcony? I don't care if you can't afford a cat or have a boring balcony for that matter, any garden-centre will offer less offensive decorations. Plus, they ugleeee! check
herefor an idea of the design. Apparently these cats are too ugly even for the Internet!
9: The solar cap.
What a stupid thing. I don't care if your hair is less sweaty, you look a darn fool. No further elaboration necessary. Blocked it out of your lobe? Check it
here; no better image was found, I guess people are catching on. They're puny. It makes men look as if they're wearing tiara's or something and girls look like twelve year olds. (I really hope that solar cap owners believe what I say, so I can do my part in the worldwide annihilation of this 'design')
8: The espadrille, or whatever it's called.
I must say these are the absolute most ugly shoes ever. The sport-sandal or 'jezus-Nike' almost stood here, but at least their colours are subdued (Rockman is still warned!). This shoe, like a rag on reeds, comes in all colours and shapes. It looks like some kind of ancient design or 'poor shoe', maybe because peasants couldn't afford leather or something. That's fine, I mean, blue jeans got away with the same concept. But these 'shoes' ain't a fashion statement people! I am far from a fashion expert, but I just have to post critique on the espadrille.
Once again, look & weep
here.
7: People that take their shoes off in public, enclosed spaces.
What the fudge? Really, I don't mind SEEING your clovy-ass, corned, rotted toe feet because I know that I can turn my head at the drop of a dime. But I just can't hide from the smell. Keep your darn shoes on till you get home to pollute you own air, I don't care who you are or how many holes your shoes contains.
6: Cheaters.
To be the mature one I ain't placing anything in my list in order, otherwise this would be number one.
Them ugly bastards cheat, lie about it, claim thay dont know why they did it (cause you couldn't control your privates, you b*tch), and leave the cheat-ee to pick up the pieces, all screwed up in the head because they don't know who they can trust ever again in the future. I hate you, go to hell.
5: Fake christmas trees.
This is a recent hatred as well, because I was traumatised by one last christmas. We're all screwing up the world anyway, Natures throwing Katrina's at us and all that. Let me have the joy of vacuming needles out of my carpet for 5 months, please. I don't care what people claim. THEY DONT LOOK REAL. And they especially dont feel or smell real. You're all in denial.
4: John Travolta's lower teeth.
Yes, the least logical of all entries in this bottom ten. But, for some unexplicable reson I flinch everytime I see John Travolta in an angry state whereupon he exposes his lower teeth. Check out Face/Off, or Battlefield Earth to see what I mean.
I don't know, maybe I was a dentist in a former life, or maybe even a set of lower teeth! Hey, if Scientology is accurate, former lives are the real thing, so who knows? Brrrrrrrrr....
3: Horses.
Yes, all horse-lovers can spite me now and send me hate mail. I don't give a darn. I don't like these animals and they don't like me. They throw me off, try to bite or kick me and make me punch people in the face (long story, that one).
I might be pissed off too if people used my back to ride around and act tough all the time. Don't be fooled though, I don't feel sorry for the things, haven't felt sorry since good ol' Eohippus evolved into the bigger version we all know.
If it wasn't for horses, there wouldn't be horsepower. So no cars, no pollution and no obesity. There. I did it. I have connected this species of mammal to the Earth's most polluting technological developments.
Need I say more? Okay. They smell bad.
2: Belgian Police or Hospital shows.
Simple story. Shows like
Flikken and 'Spoed' are just terribly acted, horribly edited and pretty darn annoying to watch. The kind of shows that when you come across while zapping can't refrain from cursing or shuddering.... Interested? Check the link.
Dutch shows suck, but not as hard as Belgian ones. They're even worse than German 'Krimi's'. And that's pretty fudging impressive.
1:
Last, but not least (as this bottom 10 isn't strictly ranked)............Freddie Prinze, Jr.
Wat do you want to hear from me? Need I say more?
Either read his name carefully or watch any given movie he features in.
Well, till the next post....
